With longer lifespans, women can have kids first, careers later: MP

Nov 12, 2007
By Lynn Lee
AS PEOPLE live longer and retire later, women should consider putting their careers on hold to have children first, said a woman MP.

They will have plenty of time to focus on their jobs later, said Mrs Josephine Teo, an MP for Bishan-Toa Payoh GRC.

Mrs Teo, who has a son aged nine and twin daughters aged seven, was responding to concerns raised at a dialogue with PAP leaders over the low birth rate, despite national efforts to boost it.

The efforts have ranged from cash to tax incentives, including a parenthood package worth $575million in 2005.

But the increase in the birth rate has been small: There were 400 more babies in 2005 than the year before.

Last year, 36,200 babies were registered, 700 more than those born the year before.

Mrs Teo urged young couples to relook the conventional approach of putting career before children, as lifespans stretch.

'If we think of...85 and beyond being a likelihood, what is the hurry to do the things that can be done later?

'I would arrange my life so that I have more children, start a family earlier, start it sooner, and then when the children are a little bit older, I can put my heart back to work,' said Mrs Teo, a human resources director with the labour movement.

But putting children as a top priority was not an easy decision, she conceded.

Indeed, she and her husband had made a tough call to give up their careers in Suzhou, China, to return to Singapore, so that their families could help with caring for the babies.

Joining in the discussion, East Coast GRC MP Jessica Tan said parenthood was challenging but it was 'easier' in Singapore because of good childcare and health-care facilities, and the proximity to one's family.

Women could keep working after becoming mothers, she said, adding that some young women needed encouragement to believe they could do both.

A general manager with Microsoft, Ms Tan did not stop working even as she gave birth to three children, now aged 16, 14 and 12.

But it was a man who made the audience laugh when he came up with his baby-making suggestions.

Kampong Chai Chee branch activist Lawrence Chong suggested that society should accept single women having babies, with the Government running an institution to look after them.

But Mrs Teo questioned if letting women bring up children alone would set 'the right tone' in society.

Offering his take during the session, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong said that it was not money, but people's mindset and encouragement from society that would help pull up birth rates.

Deputy Prime Minister Wong Kan Seng, chairman of the National Population Committee, was studying ways to boost baby numbers but there was 'no magic bullet', said Mr Lee.

'I think eventually it would have to be personal choices of what you consider important in life...to have children...and to balance that against your work, your career aspirations.'

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Comment 1:"Don't you think it is a good idea! though it is certainly not easy but it is not impossible for a woman to go back work to pursue a career. The whole societal mindset and government policy certainly need to changed to cultivate such a choose.

The intensive motherhood period may be ten to twenty years, depends on how many children you have, it is however equally meaningful and rewarding career as a paid job. Most of all, when children are older, women can always go back to the workplace. That is where the government's policy and redesigning economic structure can come into place.

To have more babies or not, sounds like a personal choice, but, in our modern societies, it has become an institutionalized problem which causes many women great struggle, if not totally no choose."

Comment 2:"All said, I pity the Singapore kids, treated more like pets. In infancy, probably left in the care of maids (fortunate are those who have grandparents), toddlers left in care of childcare, then into after/before school care. Parents busy working, and for parents' own sake, they over protect their kids. Material needs are more than met, but emotional needs are very lacking. Its a wonder these children do not grow up being dysfunctional."

Comment 3:"the above observation and concerns are valid. It takes at least one generation to make another, for better or for worse.

The conventional women's roles were always centered at home and with children care. As saying "the mother is the heart of a home". If our children are to let to maids, children to raise up, they won't be "our children" anymore.

we reap what we sow. If you put your material, economic, personal gain before the commitment for the family, which requires the real sacrifice from both mother and father, you can be certain that you will lost the family, and vice verse.

In reality, the children bear the potential economic capacity, you can call them "long term investment", but what is really matter is only love, self denial commitment will build up our next generation.

We all need support from one another, from government, for our relatives, to build such a community, for ourselves as well as for our children."

Comment 4:

There are many things that an (educated) woman will consider before deciding to get married:
(assuming she is an undergrad)
1. Immediately after grad vs gaining working experience...are you willing to give up your career or even forget abt pursuing your career just to haf a child because govt says that's good for the country? after giving up your career or deciding to pursue a career after your child is big enuf on his own..do you still command the market value u used to??
2. Rising cost of living and raising costs...how long can the baby grants help u in reducing your financial/emotional load in raising a child for 21 yrs or more..starting from insurance to physical things like milk powder, diapers, clothes, food, nanny expenses all the way to uni expenses?
3. income of 1 vs income of 2...is the husband's income enough to support one whole family?? including house exp, pub bills, phone bills, miscellaneous exp, groceries shopping exp, food exp, not forgetting baby expenses?? assuming an average man's income is abt 4 to 5k, is that enough?

So i would say things are not as simple as it looks. A child is not a commodity, once you bear it, you have to be sure that you can provide for it..not just financially but emotionally...although there are maternity leave and childsick benefits..but it is the bonding time that matters..after a long stressful day at work, how much time n energy is left to bond with a child? and the best cultivation of values/ discipline starts from home..not nanny or childcare centre..
This is no longer the 1930s to 1960s..it's 2007..a new millenium..not just one with rising technology and standard of livings but also one with rising costs and worries!!"
......

How could we transform a good idea to good practice?