“Is not fair?”

My children often complain “It is not fair”. They are comparing all kinds of things, privileges to go out with parents, size of birthday cakes, stories mum read, pencils received in different colours, and (always, his colours is nicer than mine)….
I am always trying to be a fair mother, but soon I find there is no absolute fairness in this world.

I have to take my youngest son with me every time I run errands, am I not fair to my other children?

I have to spend more with one of my sons with his reading, while my daughter is proficient in reading even without my help, so am I not fair?

I have to punish the bigger one when fighting happened between two of them. Our rule is the big is required always to give in to the younger, am I not being unfair?

I have to give more food to my eldest son, for he has been on the growing spurge at the age of 8. …..

Fairness is only found in principle, however, not in absolute quantity. As a mother, I love all of my children, but I cannot give them equal attention, equal energy and time.

God in his wonderful wisdom has foreseen such a problem in our human beings. We all want to equality and we all want to have the same amount as of others. This mentality not only exists among children, but also in adults. How many of us feel demoralized when we don’t get promoted; we feel envy, angry when the fellow next me is getting higher paycheck; we do not feel good when our neighbour just brought a BMW while I am still driving my 7 years old Hunda….This list can go on and on.

What about today’s working women who strive for equality in every level and achievement in career with men, but equality has never been realized in realistic scales. Many of them have to forsake their motherhood duties. The pay gap between man and women is constantly about 20-30%. Less than 3% of career women have ever reached top management positions.

What about working mothers, they lament at how “unfair” about the treatment from their bosses when they are pregnant or having young children, their career path are jeopardized. How unfair, it is women who, have gone through labour, have to care on young children, and even have to do more housework, etc, why it is woman, not man?

The seeking of absolute equality does us no any good at all. It only breeds contentious, cankerous hearts. We end up being not grateful and lose all the joy of being and living. God has made every one “special”. He has given us unique talents, which allow us to develop our own personality and ability to full unique potential. Let us not to seek “absolute fairness”. You are sure disappointed for there is no such thing under the sun.