A mother's testimony

This is a testimony by a sorrowful mother:

" When my son was young, I brought him to Sunday school at our neighborhood church. It however did not last, soon, going to church on Sunday was replaced by many other activities.
....

"20 years" the Judge announced. It was the sentence for my son, who just turned 21 years old last month. He was involving a rubbery which caused one death. Had he had a more repented attitude, his sentence would have be much shorter. But his defy attitude and rude speaks provoked all, the Judge, the most.

"Young man, Don't you know God?" the Judge asked,

"God? who is he?" answered back my son;

All eyes in the courtroom turned towards me
....

20 years, I have wasted it to lead my son to know God, now we are both paying double!

Thank you, Samantha van Norman

It was after Christmas. My husband brought children for a walk. I stayed at home. They took my digital camera along. They went to river walk and then went to Greatworld city mall for some snack.

There were still some Christmas decoration left behind, one particular area was for children to play. My daughter, who held camera, immediately immersed into play. She forgot the camera totally.

Only by the time they returned home did she realize she had forgotten the camera at play area. I was very upset, it was my birthday present from my husband and I am really getting used to it. Further more, I blamed my husband to let my daughter holding the camera.

My husband returned to the shopping mall, and I and my daughter went after him.

Needless to say, I scolded my daughter for being so careless.

When we reached the place. The camera was no where to be found. "someone must take it." I said resentfully.

My husband went to Information counter to report the loss. But I was really feeling little hope. Sadly, we started to home. Just then, the phone was ringing. The service staff at Information counter told us that someone just brought the camera to the information court.

I was overjoyed and very moved.

My daughter said, "Thank God, I was praying for the camera to be found"

It was Samantha van Norman, this kind lady who found my camera and led us to find it.

After all, there are good people.Thank you, Samantha van Norman. Your kindness is well remembered.

This mum doesn't believe in keeping kids happy

I REFER to the article, 'Most S'pore kids are happy: Study' (ST, Nov 30).

In the study, children were asked if they felt happy often and whether they had fun. As the majority indicated that they were happy, the study concluded that our children are generally emotionally healthy. A comment was also made that working mothers can now rest easy.

I find this disturbing because it implies that our main task as parents is to ensure that our children are happy. As a mother of two, I know it does not take much work to make my children happy. All I need to do is turn on the TV and give them their favourite snacks and require them to do absolutely no work at all.

I contend that as a mother, it is not my job to make my children feel happy but rather my job is to keep them unhappy.

They are unhappy when I limit their intake of sugary foods and TV time because they are bad for them. They are unhappy when I do not allow them to have their way all the time or buy them whatever toy they want.

They are unhappy when I insist that they apologise and make restitution to others they have offended. They are unhappy when I insist that they pick up after themselves. The list goes on.

However, I believe this training that I give them will teach them the basic skills of discipline, finding joy in their work, self control, conflict resolution, respecting others and being contented when they don't have what they want. Without these skills, they will not function well as working adults or be emotionally healthy.

A mother who fears making her children unhappy by insisting that they do the right thing is unlikely to have the strength of character to bring up a child who himself is a person of character. This training is hard work for the mother and takes a lot of time.

I would say that all mothers (working or otherwise) cannot rest easy until their children are grown up for, as the old proverb goes, 'A child left to himself brings his mother to shame.'

Therefore, let us not deceive ourselves into thinking that we are doing all right if our children say that they are happy.

Lynda Kiong Chiew Min (Mdm)

Source: ST Forum Dec 6, 2007

A Mother’s Power of Influence

Recently I met up with a retired teacher. She was expert on early childhood education. Our conversation was not surprisingly all about children issue. As an experience mother and teacher, she gave me many wonderful insights on how a mother impacts on her children’s development.

One thing she impressed me was that the mother’s impact to her children was so confound that it seems to be the most powerful force to shape a child’s temperament in early year, though the personality of this child is subject to many factors’ influence and can be formed and reformed according to circumstance. That is to say a mother can positively or negatively affect her children’s temperament.

We do see many empirical evidences. An anxious mother is often to be seen to have an anxious child; a calm mother is often to be seen to have a confident child; a sad mother, with a sad child; a happy mother, with jubilant child...

Later, I met this lady’s daughter, once again confirmed my “sociological observation”. Her daughter is just like her, having a fine manner and sweetness like fragrance, which is remarkable resembling to her mother.

Therefore, mothers, improve our personal quality and be careful our manners when we interact with others, no matter who they are, your children may not be best listeners, but they are certainly the best observers and they will “inherent” our traits of characters into their lives.