Put your priority right!

Our life is busy;
The mother's life is busier;
The mother with young children is even busier;
And, the mother with young children and aspiration, will be even much busier.

Well, I am not apologetically regarding myself as the last category, so I am entitled to be very busy indeed!.

Lately, my attention was very much attracted by Chinese events, the Olympic torch, and the Sichuan earthquake. I joined several forums in Chinese websites, offered my words of comforts and encouragements. I found myself busying on computer ever more.

One day, as I wrote to one of web friends to give her my advice:

"Web is not real world, one can find some useful information or even encouragement and aspiration, but it should never become the central of your life...."

I was awaken by my own word!

Put your priority right, especially when you have a busy schedule:

For me, my days should have-

Time with God
Time with my husband
Time with my children
Time to exercise, outdoor, to enjoy fresh air and nature
Time to read, and mediate;
Time to talk to my friends, neighbour and strangers
Time to on Internet....

You see, if we do not set our priority right, our life will be mixed up.

This is reminder for me, hope that so does to you!

Singapore's mum would be paid higher than their US counterparts

Source: May 11, 2008 "The Straits Time"

Mum, you could be paid $23k a month

HR experts estimate economic worth of stay-at-home mums, but others say it's not right to fix dollar value

By Shuli Sudderuddin

"Here's a number - $22,568 a month - that's bound to make any mother's day today.

That is what a top human-resource practitioner calculates as the worth of a stay-at-home mum in Singapore.

Mr David Ang, executive director of the Singapore Human Resource Institute, picked five roles she plays daily, from executive housekeeper to chef and driver.

Assuming she works 17 hours a day, she would make $22,568 a month at the market rate for such jobs.

On top of this, he counted a 13th month bonus, leading to a princely $293,384 a year.

The Sunday Times had asked him to figure out a Singaporean mum's worth, in the light of a study done in the United States which estimated that a full-time mother could earn up to US$117,000 (S$160,000) a year.

The US study was conducted by Salary.com, a firm which studies workplace compensation. The US$117,000 sum is based on a mother doing 10 jobs, from housekeeper to psychologist and chief executive.

Another HR practitioner here, Mr Gene Yap, a human capital consultant with Aon Consulting, estimated that a Singapore mum's work is worth $8,481 a month.

This is based on spending 30 per cent of her time on marketing and housekeeping, 40 per cent on supervising children's activities like a teacher, and 5 per cent as a family motivator.

Both the Singaporean calculations factored in rest days, like the rest of the country's working population.

Whether it's $23,000 or $8,000, mothers were amused when told of the results.

'I don't think housewives would get that much money. Not all mothers cook or teach their children daily,' said Madam Kee Chooi Hua, 34, a housewife with three children.

Said housewife Sandy Lim, 53, who also has three children: 'Who will want to pay a housekeeper $23,000 a month? I enjoy my work and I don't do it for money.'

Some working mothers like Mrs Maria Loh, 41, a financial planner, feel the figure is justified. 'If you add all the duties a mother performs, the figure is accurate. And if she works and has to forgo work opportunities, then even more cost is incurred.'

But mothers' roles are too important to be quantified, said several women MPs.

'A mother's job is priceless if done well,' said Ms Denise Phua, 48, an MP for Jalan Besar GRC and mother of two.

'There is no cookie-cutter price or standard solution; mothers must know how they can add value to their children's lives.

'I'm best at preparing my children for the future and being a friend to them. Things I'm not so good at, like cooking, I outsource,' she said with a laugh.

Madam Halimah Yacob, 53, an MP for Jurong GRC and mother of five, felt it was impossible 'to put a monetary value to what mothers do. It is far beyond $200,000'.

Ms Jean Yip, 48, founder of the Jean Yip hair-salon group and parent of three, agreed: 'Mothers take care of both the emotional and physical needs of husbands and children. That's why Mother's Day is always more celebrated than Father's Day.'

Ms Laurrieta Alaabons, 37, director of LAMC Productions which promotes concerts and a mother of one, said: 'I think to give a dollar value to a mother is nonsense. A mother is a jack-of-all-trades and you cannot put her responsibility down in dollars and cents.'

Ms Constance Singam, 70, chairman of the Association of Women for Action and Research, said the value of a mother's work is underrated.

'The trouble with society now is that women, who often do housework that can't be valued in economic terms, don't get the appreciation they deserve.'

Even those in the HR field agree.

Said Mr Ang: 'We can estimate how much the jobs might pay, but mothers are also involved in deep emotional bonds and life lessons which will stay with their children all their lives. Now, who can put a dollar value to that?'"

....................................................................................

Wow!, wouldn't be nice if the mums really be paid as this much? I am sure more mums would want to stay at home. However, our society is likely to pay lip-services to these mums who choose to be stay at home. I guess their salary will be paid by the husbands.(Thanks hubby!)

On one hand, we hear that the government asks for "citizen procreation duty", on the other hand, "A personal choice ma" we heard the government says,"can't be help".

When facing increasing cost of living and extra-intensive family burden, there are nothing our government can help you "stay at home mums".

The Joys of Motherhood

-Margaret K. Fraser-

Dear Christian mothers, sing your praise
Through all your busy, happy days
To God our Father, kind and good
For all the joys of motherhood.

For that wee babe with smiling charm
That softly nestles in your arm
For childish laughter gay and sweet,
And sounds of little scampering feet.

For that young precious merry mite
Who walks with hand in yours held tight;
And for the others older grown
Who've learned to proudly walk alone.

For the blessings often mixed with tears
As they mature through passing years;
And that deep joy that naught can dim,
When children give their hearts to Him.

Fear not the coming day to face,
For God will give you strength and grace-
And hers shall be a great reward
Who trains her children for the Lord.

A privilege of being a “Stay at home” mum,

To be a full time mother or "stay at home mum" is really a privilege.

1. Time is our great enemy for all parents, time changes our babies into teenage and adults in no time. My children need me most when they are young, while my job can wait. Their beautiful, wonderful and innocent childhood fly like wind, passing quickly, it is more worthy to enjoy these time together.
   
   The study done by Teachers College, Social work professor finds association between mothers working full time and young child’s cognitive and verbal development. Professor Jeanne Brooks of Columbia Teachers College and her colleagues found that even after taking into consideration of quality of child care, the home environment and maternal sensitivity, the researchers found lower cognitive development for the children of mothers who worked full (30 or more hours per weeks) during the first nine months of life.



2. No one, not best childcare service can raise my children better than I can, no one loves my children more than I do. My children only have one mother, they don’t need a perfect teacher, the best childcare, or even the most wonderful nannies, and they need their mother. I don’t want them have someone to be substitutes. They need me as mother more than any company needs me.



3. Motherhood is the most demanding, challenging and rewarding career I have ever had. One can develop some many skills which could be valuable for her future career ever to personal development.

USA Democrat House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was a stay at home mum for 17 years, she did not enter into electoral political position until her youngest son entered senior high school. She said: Don't think of this as a minus," Pelosi says. "This is a plus, being a mother, having an experience of raising a family."
Pelosi says her children gave her the scheduling discipline it takes to be a successful politician. Meeting their demands taught her to budget her time: "I was raising them, but they were forging me." "It renews you," Pelosi says. "It makes you stronger at doing the job you're doing. Nothing in my life will ever, ever compare to being a mom. Not being a member of Congress, not being speaker of the House. I wish I could do it all over again.

The Value of Stay at home mothers in Singapore

The research done by our local scholar A/P Euston Quah in 1987 found that household service contributed our 5-8% GNP. 1997 some other scholar repeated the same research confirmed the finding. In some other country, household service even contributes as high as 23% of GNP.

In Singapore context, as dual income family increases over years, the smaller family size has also been found among these families. For younger couple, which wives age below 35, 40% dual income families do not have child while 20% single income family do not have child. For wife age between 35-44, more than 1/3 single income families have three or more children while 1/5 dual income families have the similar family size. For average family, single income family has 0.3 more child than dual income family

What does that translate? Taken GDP per capita in 2006 is S$46,832 and average life expectancy is 80 years, single income family contributes S$1.2 million more than dual income family.

There is a long term economic earning capacity dealt in each and every child. Besides economic value, stay at home mum certainly contributes in our national future human resource development and, most important social building foundation and social value reinforcement.

So what Government can do?

Like many other countries, our government has realized the urgency of ageing and decreasing TFR rates,
o Do not discriminate stay at home mums, give them practical recognitions and social supports
o Increase maternity leave could be one of effective measure, countries like UK has increased paid maternity leave to 9 months,
o Expand the more job options for mothers with new babies
o Reinforcement more on work-life balance,

Full Time Motherhood - the career with possiblities

We have been talking about Full Time Motherhood as the career with all possibilities. Besides all other skills and experiences a mother can develop, the most important task of all for a mother is to bring up her children. This is her main duty. The career of motherhood is one of noblest, most challenging, yet most rewarding one because a child carries our hope, our linkage from present to future, our strength and weakness. A mother, being a coworker and stewardess together with God, our creator, will shape up a human. Every child is unique to his/her mother and every mother is special to her child. You don’t have to be a perfect mother, just be a whole hearted mother. What a privilege and responsibility that will be.

When a woman becomes a mother, she experiences so many wonderful transformations. From a tiny egg in her womb miraculously conceived, from tiny embryo miraculously formed into a shape of a human, from the labor of birth, from the first feeding, not only physically, emotionally, but spiritually a woman is transformed from a maiden to a mother. Sometimes, that can be quite overwhelmed; a new mother certainly needs support and tender guidance. Mother’s job is endless, feeding, cleaning, washing, after a while, feeding, cleaning, and washing. I well remember how tired I was those days. But, when I saw my baby sleeping face, as peaceful as an angel; when his little arms holds around my neck; when I touched his tender cheeks and smelt wonderful baby’s smells… the joy, unspeakable, swelling inside my heart. I am so glad, so glad, I am a Mother.

It doesn’t matter how tired you may be, you gain great strength in your soul, It doesn’t matter how lonely you may be, you will find the great comfort lies in little smiles of your children, and soon you will have some great friends; It doesn’t matter no one appreciate you, not yet, will come. It doesn’t matter you have no pays for all these hard works, your rewards will be recorded in the hearts of loves and in our Father’s book of life….

Mothers, be proud of yourself, be proud of this wonderful career.

Nancy Pelosi, a mum before a speaker of house

Nancy Pelosi, is a first woman to lead congress in the USA Democratic Party said on mother's day this year:

"I've always taken great pride in the fact that I was a mom, that this was my life's experience and that it brought something to the table," , who raised five children before entering electoral politics. "Mother's Day is probably one of the most patriotic days in America, because we're saying to moms that we respect what you have done for your children, we respect what you're doing for the country."

Nancy, 67, is of a generation in which many professional women found it prudent to downplay their family commitments. At the pinnacle of her power, Pelosi has showcased hers. She took her oath of office surrounded by her six grandchildren,

"Somebody like me, as speaker of the house, has a responsibility to the younger generation of women to say: Don't think of this as a minus," Pelosi says. "This is a plus, being a mother, having an experience of raising a family."

"Nothing in my life will ever, ever compare to being a mom. Not being a member of Congress, not being speaker of the House. I wish I could do it all over again, but my children won't give me my grandchildren."

source from "USA Today"

Full Time Motherhood, a career with possiblities(5)

Like managing a company or a kingdom, Full time mothers has the same managerial requirement as Kings and CEOs but in smaller scales. Their subordinates are often their children; however, unlike kings or CEOs, full time mothers have no power to dispose them no matter how unsatisfied performances might be.
To “subdue” and gain fully controls of the “subordinates”, full time mothers not only have to be autonomic but most often they have to be more diplomatic. That requires self control and all HR skills to deal with these challenges.
Conflicts management will be top priority when she has more than two children, because sibling rivalry is a long and continuous battle.
Time management and multi-task skill are certain basic requirement. Otherwise, a full time mother may find her soon be too drained to be a good mother.
Financial prudence and basic accounting skill will help her too. As full time mothers sacrifice her income to family, they have many other ways to gain back for their family.

Mother of dilemmas

Article from: Sunday Herald Sun
Bryan Patterson
April 15, 2007 12:00am

To stay at home or work full-time it's a modern domestic problem.Motherhood full time is wonderful, but also exhausting.
Jenny, a full-time mother with a science degree, is often playing in the park with her two children. Allison, also a mother of two, is usually heading off to work with a PR company.
They admit that they envy each other's lives.
"Motherhood full time is wonderful, but also exhausting," Jenny says.
"The kids can drive you nuts. And, to be honest, I'd love to be able to afford the clothes Allison wears."
Allison says: "To hell with the clothes. I know Jenny works hard at home, but I'd love to be able to spend more time with my kids and somehow assuage my guilt feelings every time I leave for the office.
"I'd love to quit my lousy job and learn how to take better care of my sons."
Jenny says she sometimes feels other women -- especially the ones that work -- see her as a dim-witted second-class citizen. Allison says she often feels like a "workhorse with several bosses -- the ones at work and the ones at home".
Jenny has been out of the workforce for eight years. She is frightened by a statistic she read recently -- that women lose 37 per cent of their earning power when they spend three or more years out of the workplace.
Allison worries that she is missing out on seeing some of the important moments in her children's growth.
"I think I may have been sold a pup by second-wave feminism that says I can only be fulfilled with a paid job," she says.
Both women say they are aware that women can not "have it all". They can choose to excel at either motherhood or a career.
Australian mothers are now looking for different ways to balance their desires for both motherhoood and paid work....

To read more about this article.

Full Time Motherhood, a career with possiblities(4)

Most likely, a full time mother will be her babies’ first teacher. You will be able to open the wonderful world of learning for your children. The studies on early childhood education have shown that the most critical stimulate period and the fastest learning stage is of child’s first three years. Dr Suzuki, the founder of the Talent Education Movement once said: “Everyone has a sprout of talent.” He argued that it is natural for a Japanese baby to speak Japanese, the ability to speak good Japanese is inborn in every child, what differs is the environment each child has.
Everyone has a sprout of talent. Developing that sprout into a wonderful ability depends upon how it is cultivated. A full time mother has great advantage to stimulate inborn ability of her child to open window of learning at early stage. Therefore, another possible skill you will develop is childhood educator. We have seen some many successful homeshooling mothers, not all of them have education degree, yet, the career of motherhood enabled them to expand their own potential, multiplied with their children development, isn’t that wonderful?

Full Time Motherhood, a career with possiblities (2)

One of skills you most like to develop is Culinary. That is skill opens my eyes towards lifelong learning. I came from a "well protected" home, where my mother thinks to study is more important than to learn cooking. I got married without any basic skills of cooking. The first half year of our marriage, we were either eating out or having soup with rice. The so-called "Soup" was in fact, water boiling with all kinds of things, meat, vegetables etc. Thank God I have a kind husband, who did not complain whatever I brought to table. However, by the time our first baby was bore, I determined to LEARN. What a magic word, when you want to learn, you will be able to learn.
I borrowed dozen cook books from library, started experimenting all kinds of cooking,mainly Chinese food frying, stewing, baking. (See my favorite cooking bookClick Here! )
I love baking the most, I still remember, when I first practiced to make breads, sometimes it could be too hard, sometimes it could be over rised. But now, the moment bread out of oven is the happiest moment for my children, they all run into kitchen to want to take the slice of fresh baked bread. Often, my children tell me "I prefer Mummy's bread". That really makes me feeling proud.

Full Time Motherhood, a career with possiblities (1)

With Singapore National Day approaching soon, many streets are decorated with colorful flags with the wording “Celebrate Singapore, the city of possibility”. I would like to borrow the same phrase:

Celebrate the Full Time Motherhood, the career with all possibilities

Yes, once you enter the Full Time motherhood, you are entering a career with huge potential and possibility.

You can develop the medical skill. With young children around, you soon would be well termed with all common childhood’ diseases. You may do some researches on particular subjects that even impress your pedestrian.

My first boy’s medical bill was over five figures, by the time of my fourth child, the expenses dramatically dropped. That was due to my confidence in myself on common childhood disease and symptom; I am more or less know what iswrong and how to give the simple medications.

My oldest son had eczema and asthma when he was young. I brought him to see many specialists, some medication did relieve the symptom, but the real solution was discovered when I did many researches on these topics. It was the essential oil and home herb remedy worked wonder on him. His eczema condition now is total recovered and asthma is under control.For more information Home Made Medicine!
(…. To be continued)

A Mother's Story

Here is a mother's story. I find her admirable.
"Hello,

My name is Holly Mann and I am 24-years-old. I am making $12,000+ per month working online and I want to share my secrets, tips and resources with you. There are a lot of scams out there involving people who are trying to make quick cash and do not care about the customers. I am not like that. I understand your scepticism, so throughout this site I will be bluntly honest and provide as much PROOF as possible some people know of me from my eBook that I sell online, but not many people know my real story.
I'll try to sum it up for you. I am a single mom and disabled veteran of the U.S. Army. I was honourably discharged from the military at the age of 20 - after serving as a military Journalist, Photographer and Website Designer. Within one week of being released, I started in processing with an overseas company to work as a civilian contractor in Baghdad, Iraq. This was 6 months after the war started and I stayed there for 6 months - until I felt that it was entirely too dangerous.

I started making money online when I was pregnant a couple of years ago. I started out on eBay, selling websites to mortgage and loan officers. That made me about $900.00 per month. But that involved A LOT of manual work, it was time-consuming and I wanted to create something that would become an automated income stream. I then became an affiliate with a web hosting company called Wild West Domains. I would sell hosting plans to most of my eBay customers who purchased websites. I still make about $150.00-400.00 per month from that (and that was well over a year ago when I brought customers to my affiliate hosting company).

So I started reading more, developing many more websites. I didn't realize how profitable the internet was at that time. I began profiting more and more, but it just didn't "click" for me then. I was just like the majority of us Internet surfers who are trying desperately to find a way to make money online. I created numerous websites, promoting affiliate programs.
One was: eHostingInfo.com and I would refer eBay customers to that site and get $100.00 commission per sale. Besides that and some other affiliate niche sites, I began creating sites which profited from Google Ad Sense Ads. I also figured out some Amazing FREE advertising techniques and Search Engine Optimization tools and techniques. I even had a Search Engine Optimization software program created called Content King (just released). It is what I use to save me time so I can quickly optimize my websites.

Although I started working online and designing sites 5 years ago, it took a few years worth of knowledge all jumbled in my head for me to finally have an epiphany. So, I wrote my very own eBook and went up against this well-known internet marketer and I've had great success with it. I love opening my inbox to read "thank you" emails and success stories every day from happy customers whose lives have changed.
Prior to this, when I was pregnant and trying to live off of my eBay income, I was struggling badly. I was receiving a disability check from the military and trying to make it by on that. My son's father and I are separated and I lived at my brother's house in a small room with my young baby. I didn't want to owe anyone anything. I didn't want to be dependent on my brother or anyone else for help. So, I sold everything I owned and I moved to Thailand - a country which I lived in 3 times before. I knew what I needed was TIME. My son had colic and acid reflux so the first 6 months of his life involved a lot of crying and not a lot of time for me to work. I knew if I went to Thailand then I could afford to live there and I could use my time there to develop more stable internet businesses - allowing me to create several income streams. It was quite difficult when I first arrived there with my baby. It was difficult to work online while my computer connection was only 24 kbps and it took me over an hour to publish one website. I went from $700.00 per month (not even a lot in Thailand) to $12,000.00 per month within 4 months flat.

I receive quite a few letters from people from all over the world. The letters people email to me are sometimes extremely personal. I hear from every single age group, from 15-70. I hear from people with sicknesses, diseases, disabilities. I hear from single parents and veterans. I want to help each person, but I don't have the time to be a personal mentor or coach. So I am doing what I can with my free time - to continually update my eBook with the best resources as well as putting all my best resources on this website for all to see. I am lucky that I have not spent thousands of dollars on get-rich-quick schemes online. I haven't had to. Although I know how to make a good living on the Internet, I always want to learn more and stay on top of the ever-changing internet marketing world.
Thank you for reading my story,click here to visit me. I truly wish you success with your online"

Full Time Mother's Job description

A Full Time Mothers job can be any or all of the following:

1. Babysitter, caregivers, wash, clean and feed baby
2. House keeper
3. Laundry, ironing, folding and storing away
4. Grocery shopping and planning
5. Cooking meals
6. Driver, send and fetch children to school
7. Teacher, Early child education, three Rs
8. Nurse, when one or more children are sick
9. Doctor, when she self diagnoses and gives medicine
10. Story teller
11. Comforter, when child is scare of dog, cat, thunder or whatever
12. Arbitrator, when children fight
13. Discipline Master, when punish children
14. Ruler of house, unfortunately, many mother end up become servant of children
15. Home Minister (honoured by husband)
16. CFO (if agreed by husband)
17. Supervisor, trainer to children or maids

I wonder what else a mother cannot do after she finishes MotherHood?