Wife Work ---Full Time Mother re-thinking

It has been a long time not to update this blog. Yes, many things happened, especially, I discovered the unexpected expecting of our fifth baby two months ago, followed by almost two months "morning sickness", now I finally get back to "Normality".

Have to admit that life is full of unexpectedness, "HE(God) hath made every thing beautiful in his time, also he hast set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end." (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

I was a bit upset when the news of this new baby came, cos I thought we had finished our family and I can do something else, maybe, "greater or better". But,man proposes, but God disposes. Now I surrender myself unto the hand of my creator, HIS plan is far above mine and HIS will is always best.



Just last week, I attended a focus group discussion initiated by National Family Council (NFC). It is encouraging to know that our government has the political will and means to support families in Singapore, especially in current economic downture. One of highlighted areas for NFC to work on is to uphold family values. The attendants made many insightful suggestions on how NFC and other government agency can promote such values even to our children.

Family, as the basic societal unit, has under attacked by many liberal ideologies. Some have challenged the traditional functions of family and its value system ; some have suggested alternative lifestyle. Sociologists, I am afraid to say, had played an important part in justifying some of those claims. It will not an easy battle.

Women' role has changed dramatically in recent years. The author of "Wifework" made the following observation:

"A generation ago, the man was going out to work, for pay, and the wife was staying at home for free. In those days, nobody, not even sociologists, had a problem with that. It may have been a drastic division of labour, but it was also a coherent and rational one, with boundaries high enough to trip over. Equally importantly, both parties to the agreement gave it their full consent- often, admittedly, because there are no alternatives....But it had at least the virtue of balance, of stability.
Like all enduring family systems, the homemaker Mum- breadwinner Dad model was built on a foundation of intense mutual dependency.

By the mid-twentieth century, having a full-time wife at home- someone who would in a sense live life for the two of them- made it possible for a may to be 'married' to his job. And only a man who was 'married' to his job could afford to have a full-time wife at home.

At one level, acquiring a wife was for a man a form of conspicuous consumption, a marker of his elevated economic status. As recently as forty years ago, the 'no wife of mine is going to go out to work' mentality reigned supreme in our cultural consciousness, if not precisely in our economic reality. A wife who worked for pay may have been an economic asset. But far more importantly, she was a social and psychological liability- a direct hit not on a husband's status in the community but on his very identity as a man."

Wow, this was also an unexpectedness for me, as I mentioned early, at the beginning of starting this blog, my intention was to encourage "Full Time mothers with knowledge and understanding". Now I must admit my lacking of sociological understanding of "Full Time Mothers" as result of many societal changes in our contemporary world.

Yet, I hold the belief that God's word will not change. "...young women to love their husband, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home...."(Titus 2:5). I wish, if possible from sociological point of view, to explore Full Time Mothers' advantage and benefits to their family as well as to society. God's willing!

US university honour anti-feminist icon Mrs Schalfly

(The Straits Times May 19, 2008)A top US university, Washington University in St Louis, Missouri, honoured 83-year-old Phyllis Schalfly, a mother of six children, who heads one of the most successful anti-feminist organisations in the United States.

She founded it in 1972 as she mobilised thousands of people in a successfuly campaign to defeat the Equal Rights Amendment, which was meant to guarantee equal rights under the law for Americans, regardless of sex.

She argued that it would deny a woman's right to be supported by her husband and "lead to women being drafted by the military and to public unisex bathrooms."

She continues to write columns and deliver lectures on college campuses, setting off controversy with her open call for legal distinctions between the rights of men and women.

Last year, she called for a ban on women holding the positions of firefighter, solider and construction worker and argued that a woman cannot claim to have been raped by her husband.

"By getting married, the woman has consented to sex, and I don't think you can call it rape." She said.

She has described sex education classes as "in home sales parties for abortions."

Among her critics is feminist Gloria Steinem, who has commented on the irony in Mrs Schlafly's championing of the full-time mother and wife while she is herself a lawyers, an editor of a monthly newsletter and a political activist.

The campus honor to her has triggers uproar in the university. Mrs Schlafly brushed off the protests.

She said :"I am just sorry for those who tried to rain on a happy day."

"If they were really for achievement of women, they would be admiring what I've been able to achieve."

The meaning of full time mothers

When I first started this blog, my intention was to encourage women who share the same conviction to be stay at home for the sake of children and family. In the course of studying on family and women history, however, I discovered that the notion of “full time mother” was associated with socially and cultural constructed ideology which painted with social inequality and class antagonism.

In North America society, the ideal type of nuclear family structure was promoted in 50s, where mothers were encourage being at home to raise children during their early or formative years, and fathers to be solo breadwinner. The employment for mothers outside home was seen less important or secondary to their domestic duties. Despite the ideological impetus to mother at home, over half of all women with children work for wages, and most of them are “under class”. The studies by many sociologists and historians showed that throughout history, women from unprivileged social groups were had little choice but work, no matter whether they had children or not.

On the other hands, except the minority upper privileged women (“TaiTai,” some are called, who have conspicuous leisure and don’t need to work), many women do have struggling in work and home.

There are two dominant theoretic models in explaining women choices to work:

1. Rational choice model, suggests that motherhood represents a prominent social force behind women’s job decision. Becker and Polachek, argue that women’s preference to mother is maximized in jobs that exact fewer penalties for interrupted employments, such as part-time, seasonal, or clerical work. According to this view, women’s pursuit of their rational self-interest reinforced their occupational segregation within low-paid jobs and underrepresentation in higher-paying, male-dominated jobs that typically required significant employer investments such as training. Employer may be reluctant to “invest” into women who could not guarantee commitment. This perspective views motherhood as a major impediment to employment and mobility. But it fails to consider that the organization of production has developed in ways that make motherhood an impediment.

2. Hegemonic power of patriarchy, some feminist scholars view this particular development of women’s choice between motherhood and employment as consistent with the hegemonic power of patriarchy. This view suggest that it was patriarchy, not personal preference, shapes the organization of production resulting in economic, political, and social subordinate of women to men. Many economists fail to consider the power of ideological constructs such as “family” and “motherhood” in shaping behavior among women, employees and the organization of production itself. Within feminist analyses, motherhood as an ideology obscures and legitimates women’s social subordination because it conceals particular interests within the rubric of a universal prerogative (reproduction). The social construction of motherhood serves the interest of capital by providing essential childbearing, child care, and housework at a minimal cost to the sates, and sustains women as a potential reservoir of labour force, or “reserve army of labour”. This view reviews the real dilemma that women continue to try to reconcile the competing urgencies of motherhood and employment despite the lack of supportive structures at work or within family.

Today, there are apparently “care deficit” among many working mothers family. Many working mothers in order to work outside home, they have to hire domestic workers from third world countries to take care of household duties and child-cares, many of these domestic workers themselves are mothers with young children. By doing so, they transfer “care deficit” into the third world countries. The say thing is, though the age of slavery seems forever gone, some of these domestic workers work in a slavery condition and without accessible legal protection.

What do we see from here? As least we could draw three conclusive remarks:

1. Not all “full time mothers” are “Tai tais”, they choose to be a full time mother with financial and material sacrifices, and they adapt the simple and frugal life style, resist the consumer culture and instant gratification.

2. Full time mothers support institutional and organization changes in supporting working mother, but do not agree by exploitation domestic workers from third world countries. If we do need them, provide them with decent living condition, legal protection.

3. Full time mothers urge the government to consider subsidies to women with children should be expanded in the recognition that full time mothering is work and should be properly rewarded. Mothers should be seen as civil servants and provided with pensions as compensation for their services in nurturing future citizens.

Feminism and Women's Life

I cannot help but thinking whether the Feminism movement did any good for women's life. What was Feminism movement really up to?

In early 60's Betty Friedan published her "Feminine Mystique" in which she revealed the suffering of women:-the suffocation of the women of her time, the narrow servitude of their roles as mothers and housewives. This book evoked the longing for women for more than just being at home.

While women’s legal and social status have significantly improved - women are enjoying much better human rights and gender equality today- working mothers however continue to face greater challenges compared with older women whose main roles as recognized culturally and socially were childbearing, child caring and homemaking.

Since 1990, dual–career couples constituted more than 45 per cent of all married couples in Singapore and from 1980-1990, the number of dual-career couples also doubled. Today, it is estimated to constitute more than 60 per cent working mothers of all females workforce. Working mothers have become important players in Singapore workforce. (Lee, Campbell and Chia 1999).

However, this increase in women’s participation in workforce did not bring realistic gender equality. There are only less than 3 per cent of women in high level executive management positions with majority jobs for women are still dominantly employed in production, and clerical work, making them more vulnerable to economic fluctuation and retrenchment, low pay and little chance for advancement.The gap of wages between women and men at the same level of jobs remains consistently at 15 to 30 per cent levels, while working mothers even face more job discrimination and pressure.

Studies showed working mothers experience incongruency between their self-concept and behaviour and their perceptions of the expectations others have of them (Glibert 1979, Terborg, 1985). A great concern of conflicts voiced out from these studies between work and family life. Aryee 1992 found a positive relation between parental commitment and homemaking commitment with work-family conflict. High demand from two worlds has caused many working mothers great stress resulting in low productivity and poor performances in their work and home duties, in turn furthering social and family problems.

Traditional values for women to be mother, childcare giver and household worker still predominates. The modern economy however, has led the political leadership to encourage more women, especially well-educated ones to participate in the workforce. The value of gender equality however is not realized in the work place or the expectation of shared household duties. The sex stereotypes are still prevalent in our society. All these lead the Singapore women into the existing and persistent situation of conflicts.

Unlike olden days when woman had no choice but accept a “one role” gender player, today’s women do have their choices to be full-time mothers or working mothers. The choice however is proving to be a very hard one indeed. Many full-time mothers’ choice is out of love and concern for family and children; and they regard “full-time motherhood” as a “calling”. They are thus willing to sacrifice career and self-ego satisfaction to fulfil a “higher priority in life”. Many of them are also willing to forgo high living standards and simplify their lives accordingly as such, considering it an investment so as to reap in future years to come, strong family ties and better welfare for their children

“These choices reflect the priorities and form a major response on the part of these modern women to the dilemma of balancing perceived opportunities and limitations”, said A/P Lana Khong in her study on mothers’ role in children studies impact. P127 “Faced with juggling real concerns for their children’s well-being in the educational contest, meeting cultural expectations for keeping family values intact, as well as being called upon to actively contribute to national GDP, most women will rarely be able to fulfil every one of these requirements equally successfully.”

Working mothers, on the other hand, are mostly driven by self-fulfilment or financial necessities, and often harbour deep guilt towards their families in their hearts. Coleman 1990 suggested, “As working mothers occupy most of their time in the purposive or corporate structure and away from the family, the intensity of the child-adult relationship diminishes. This process takes away from the child some of the psychic investment to their jobs.”

Women in Western countries have the similar difficulties when facing motherhood choice. While one–role ideology that restricts their social roles to the home, Western women have realized the hardships involved in the two-role ideology – the incorporation of a job or career to the role of sole homemaker (Quah, 1999). Bernard, 1972, had suggested the shared-role ideology, however, based on Singapore’s traditional values for women, there is no indication that such an ideology will be well accepted.

In conclusion, we are inevitable subject to influence of any social movement, but its social consequence will only be visible after a certain time, sometimes it could take almost two or three generations to show. Whether did Feminism did any good to women as a whole? Do you have your idea?