Abdication of parents

Parenting is never an easy job.

But I believe it is more difficult in our modern society. Why do I say so? There are just too many competing interests for many parents. One of biggest woe that industrialization and globalization economy has done towards families is to take the fathers away from home, further more, to take the mothers away from home.

I read with interest Ms Charlotte Mason’s “Parents and Children” one of six of her educational series, in which she searched with deep insights what are parents’ duty,

“The rule of parents cannot be deputed. The king may rule by deputy; but, here we see the exigeant nature of the parent’s function; he can have no deputy. Helpers he may have, but the moment he makes over his functions and authority to another, the rights of parenthood belong to that other, and not to him. Who does not know of the heart-burnings that arise when Anglo-Indian parents come home, to find their children’s affections given to others, their duty owing to others; and they, the parents, sources of pleasure like the godmother of the fairy tale, but having no authority over their children? And all this, nobody’s fault, for the guardians at home have done their best t keep the children loyal to the parents abroad.

Causes which lead to the abdication of parents.—Here is indicate a rock upon which the heads of families sometimes make shipwreck. They regard parental authority as inherent in them, a property which may lie dormant, but is not to be separated from the state of parenthood. They may allow their children from infancy upwards to do what is right in their own eyes; and then, Lear turns and makes his plaint to the winds, and cries-

‘sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is
To have a thankless child!’

But Lear has been all the time divesting himself of the honor and authority that belong to him, and giving his rights to his children. Here he tells us why; the biting anguish is the ‘thankless’ child. He has been laying himself out for the thanks of his children. That they should think him a fond father has been more to him than the duty he owes them; and in proportion as he omits his duty are they oblivious of theirs. Possibly the unregulated love of approbation in devoted parents has more share in the undoing of families than any other single cause.

The love of ease, the love of favour, the claims of other work, are only some of the cause lead to a result disastrous to society- the abdication of parents. When we come to consider the nature and uses of the parent’s authority, we shall see that such abdication is as immoral as it is mischievous. Mean time, it is well worth while to notice that the causes which leads parents to resign the position of domestic rulers are resolvable into one- the office is too troublesome, too laborious. The temptation which assails parents is the same which has led many a crowned head to seek ease in the cloister, even if it be the natural crown of parenthood.”